FAQ

It has come to my attention that, despite me writing loads of stuff on this here bloggy thing, people still keep sending me emails with the same questions in them. Some of them are answered on here and some aren't. So I thought that I would have a go at answering those questions and some, perhaps, that you wish you had thought to ask, below:

Q: Why are you doing this trip rather than settling down into a nice job somewhere?
A: I don't know

Q: Where on earth did you get the money to go travelling?
A: A combination of prostitution, drug trafficking, getting drunk off other people's stolen pints and down right stealing. Actually, I just saved half of my wages for the last eight months in Korea and the rest came from a big bucket of money labelled 'Stuff to give back to the bank later'.

Q: Why are you going to LA?
A: Because the plane is going there.

Q: Why aren't you going to San Francisco instead?
A: Because the plane doesn't go there.

Q: Where are you now?
A: If you look over to the right of this page you will see a photo of me. Under that photo is a list of places and dates. If you know what date it is today you can work out where I am now.

Q: Sounds like you are having a lot of fun, where are you going to next?
A: May I refer you to the explanation above but this time work out what today's date is and then look to see the nearest date ahead of that. There will be a place name next to it. That is where I am going next.

Q: So, tell me, Helen, are you meeting any men over there?
A: Yes.

Q: Any luck?
A: Some.

Q: Are you going to tell us about it?
A: No.

Q: Oh, why not, you big meanie?
A: Because a lady doesn't kiss and tell (PS, I'll send you an email later with all the juicy goss!)

Q: Why do you keep getting on boats when you know that they make you seasick?
A: Because I tend to block out how seasick I got last time and assume that this time I will be OK. Rats in mazes learn quicker than me. Mind you, if there were M&Ms on offer, I might learn quicker too!

Q: Why are there so many typos on your blog?
A: Because I am usually talking online to a couple of people while typing this and then can't be bothered to spellcheck it and ask it to skip all the non-US spellings. Plus the keyboards are suspiciously sticky in a lot of the internet cafes.

Q: When can we see some more photos?
A: Just the moment that I find somewhere cheap enough to get a CD burnt and then the time to go through it and put the photos on. It is a laborious process and I often can't be bothered with it all. Maybe later.

Q: Where can I find cheap internet cafes while travelling?
A: Anywhere with a high concentration of Koreans, Japanese and Chinese students. They need the internet to be cheap so they can afford to keep up their Starcraft habits and still have enough money to go to the karaoke room later.

Q: Do two minute noodles really taste as bad as people say?
A: Much worse.

Q: Can you live off them?
A: Until about half way through the first bowl when you realise that the table would make more interesting and palatable meals.

Q: What bugs you most about other travellers?
A: Tricky one but overall it would have to be the unfriendly ones that I want to push under a bus most often.

Q: What are you going to do at the end of this trip?
A: I am going home.

Q: Why?
A: Because that is where the plane goes.

Q: And then?
A: I am going to give this settling down lark a go and see what happens.

Q: What is your favourite animal?
A: A giraffe

Q: Why?
A: Because they look like giraffes. If a panda looked like a giraffe then that would be my favourite animal probably.

Q: Why are you writing a long list of questions and answers?
A: Because I am trying to distract you from the lack of photos again this week :)

I hope that helps and feel free to ask any others.