A Pintless Birthday

Yesterday was the usual whirl of activity with a bit of birthday thrown in. Woke up, opened cards and presents. Got out of bed. Ran a bath. Got into the bath. Got out again when the postman rang the bell. Got dressed. Took birthday greetings phonecalls. Spent the morning phoning around the World trying to get hold of my National Insurance number. But no-one would give it to me over the phone.

One guy was laughing at me as I said 'you are looking at the number right now, aren't you?'
'Yep'
'But you can't tell me, can you?'
'Nope.'

Very frustrating. I was supposed to get it so that I could open a bank account that day. My original card is now in a box in my Auntie's loft so will have to go up there this weekend. Everytime I rang somewhere they asked my date of birth. I would tell them and wait for them to say Happy Birthday but no-one did, boring old farts.

Another phonecall later and I was officially late to meet my friend for lunch. Dashed into town and over to Moorgate where I met my mate, Chris, who I know from university but haven't seen since I went to Ireland in 2000. We went to a nice little square near his office and ate sandwiches surrounded by city folk. Then had to rush to meet Penny, wiping the bird poo off my bag and shoes, maybe the square wasn't so nice after all.

Met Pen, went to the bank and glazed over as the woman explained the difference between one type of investment account and another, all very similar. She started talking about the FTSE100 which scared me into thinking that I might have to watch that bit at the end of the news which I normally turn off. All I wanted to see was a graph like this

But that is not how it works apparently. Ah well, I left, signing something so I guess that some of it must have made sense at some stage. Enough sense for me to sign my money away. And I was so into the signing that I am going back today to sign something else. And all because the financial adviser wished me Happy Birthday. I am such a simple soul.

Then it was off to the Tower of London for my proper birthday treat. When I was a kid, mum took me to London for my birthday so I thought that it would be fun to have an old-fashioned birthday treat. Me and my sister pass the Tower of London everytime we go into London from her house. But it is pricey- fourteen pound fifty an adult- to get in- yikes! But we had a buy one get one free offer when presented with a train ticket, which did mean that there was no fare dodging for me yesterday.

We got there a couple of hours before the Tower closed and just in time to join the last guided tour of the day. The tour guides are yeoman warders, often called Beefeaters, for reasons unknown to me and the guy showing us around. They wear a uniform dating back to the 1800s and live in the Tower with their families. They are the longest established uniformed body of men in continuous service in the World. Or something like that.

The Tower of London is simply oozing history. It was the home of the British Royal family for over six hundred years. The White Tower is over nine hundred years old

and used to be the Royal chambers. We saw the outside of the room where Guy Fawkes was interrogated fter the Gunpowder Plot and the tower where he was tortured. At some point in history, a gate was put into the wall as, at that time, the Thames used to lap against the side of the Tower, for food and supply deliveries. It gained notoriety as Traitor's Gate as it was a handy place to bring the prisoners into the Tower.

Many famous people have been held in the Tower, tortured there and some were even executed in the grounds, including two of Henry VIII's wives. Others were taken from the Tower for a more public execution, often at Tower Hill. From the outside the Tower looks like a castle but inside it is a mish-mash of different buildings from different periods

There are lots of displays housed in the various buildings. We saw the Crown Jewels (where photography is forbidden, dammit), they are so big and shiny that they just don't look real at all. We saw torture instruments

Some for stretching people, others for folding them into tiny spaces. All of which gave me nightmares when I went to the Tower with the Brownies when I was a little 'un.

The famous ravens were out in force too. The story goes that if the ravens ever leave the Tower, it will crumble and the monarchy will fall. They keep a colony of them there for insurance reasons.

Or they would be in all sorts of trouble

'Hello, I'd like to make a claim, please, you see the Tower has crumbled'
'Well, its your own fault, your insurance policy won't cover you in the event of an absence of ravens'

Speaking of Henry VIII (I was earlier, keep up), I found another suit of his armour at the Tower. All I can say is that man had issues

This one is bigger than the one I saw in Greenwich, in every sense. I saw the armour belonging to Kings of England since William the Conquerer in 1066 and none of the others felt the urge to display themselves in such a way. Some of the kings were surprisingly short too. It is no wonder that William won the Battle of Hastings since he was the size of a child and would hardly stand out on the battlefield.

It was a hot day yesterday too so we didn't really have the Tower to ourselves, there were one or two others out that day

I found the whole tour very interesting. We were only there for a couple of hours which was a shame as there was more to read and explore.

But we just had time for a quick run round before the final walk around the walls with great views over nearby bits of London

And the inevitable self portrait

To see if I had any new lines. Then it was off to the chip shop for dinner. After that there was scarcely room for a pint so I didn't have one. And ended my birthday stone cold sober for the first time in living memory.

I knew that my birthday was officially over when I woke up to the sound of the cat throwing up on the carpet. This is my last day in London. How the last six weeks have flown. It is easy for time to pass when you are surrounded by the kind and loving support that I have got from my friends everywhere during this really confusing time.

Felixstowe tomorrow for the Big Pack- trying to work out how I can fit so much stuff into such a small space. It is when I am packing that I wish I was thin, so my clothes would weigh less and I could take more of them. Alas, I am not.

The real adventure starts when I fly out on Tuesday- yikes!